Dear Beedi Nayi!

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When Miss maya met vobamma!

Vobamma ( not to be confused with local connotations of the same i.e. vob amma, o -bamma etc) on his maiden visit to India ,like those before him, was getting his photo taken in front of Taj Mahal.In an completely unexpected turn of events, miss Maya on her fund raising exercise in the Taj corridor, encountered Vobamma.

Please note :The following conversation that happened is strictly confidential.Please disclose it the risk of falling in a Jail anywhere from UP to the other side of the world.For the benefit of my fellow blog readers ,the conversation has been reproduced with translations of what miss Maya spoke in hindi to Local's English.

MM (Miss Maya) : Good Morning vobamma sirji.
Vob ( Vobamma): A very Good morning to you too miss.But, i frankly don't need any guide. Madam president was kind enough to do the honors.
MM (Getting a little angry but managing to keep the temper in control) :
No sirji..You are mistaken..I guess like me ,you also don't read much newspaper.I am "Vobamma of the east"
Vob ( Slightly disturbed this comparison.but trying to be his polished best continues): Hmm..I am sorry i was not aware of this.It is such an honor to meet you.But,i am just a little curious to what you do and how this name was bestowed upon you ?
MM:(Voice little raised) : I am the one and only miss maya ,the leader of all oppressed class and brahhmins.
Vob (More confused): I am ..sorry did not get the last part ..Are you from Bahamas ?
MM ( in her fiery speech mode): Listen now!I am Behenji? I am the future of this country.I am the harbinger of change.Unlike you i alone can change everything.A few miles from here i can make you a prisoner.
Vob (Now getting a little worried that he might have met a terrorist tries to calm things) : Oh..ok..great to hear that..Change is something i greatly believe in.It is time to change.I wish you all the best.(Trying the escape route).
MM: yes..you should see my statues instead of seeing Tombs..i have many..you should also visit my birthday bash..you can see how people chant my name..Infact if i had my way i would have demolished this place..but what to do there is another madamji in my way..otherwise..(lifting her finger)
Vob:(who had hoped after hallirey, he will get to meet less threatening women was now facing a unparalleled nightmare..he was even more scared of another figure madamji) Huh.ok..great to meet..you..i need to catch a flight..hope we dont meet again..bye
Vob then made a fleeting exit.

And thus two changes had a falling out..with one threatening to put the former in jail if any sign of the same was found in her territory.

little smartu America gou

Scene :Some arbit Gruhapravesham . Me accompanying dad on this voyage. Dad goes inside. Me sitting in a chair desperately waiting for lunch.Old gentleman comes and sits next to me and stares at me for about 5 minutes.I trying to avoid his gaze and then it starts..


NP( Nosy Prick): U narayana swamy's sonu ?
ME: Guilty as chargedu..
NP: what u saidu?
ME: Me Narayana swamy's sonu..( damn..no sense of humor)
NP: U r first sonu or second sonu ?
ME: First from lastu...(as i remembered he was humor senseless)..I quickly said secondu
NP: Where is he ?
ME: ( I am presuming 'he' now refers to firstu or father..i assume it is father and a golden oppurtunity to get out of the conversation)..father is somewhere insidu..shall i call himu ( i am like plz say 'yes')
NP:No..No..ur elder brotheru..
ME: ( In this very instant..who knows..who knows wat and all he does or doesnot) Nowu ?
NP: (annoyed) yes..yes..nowu.
ME: somewhere in usu..
NP:( face suddenly bright..he is all exicited)..u all people little smartu America gou..
ME: (damn u!..oldman..I am sitting in India..the guy who needs to answer this question is not here..I then made the first mistake of defending my bro)..No uncle,the educational institutes here are not as good as the one's their. So it makes more sense to go there and study.After u do that u realize there are no jobs in india for what u study so u will have to end up doing a job there.But the trend is going to change ( is changing) as better oppurtunities are created in India.
NP: (all along trying to interrupt to what i was saying blurts) What bangalore eductation no goodu( damn u..i was not even refering to bangalore i was talking abt the whole country)...who saidu..bangalore bestu..all s/w company hereu..all coming here.all worldu here.. ( With a winning smile)..( Dude s/w companies are not where u study)
ME: ( given up..now tried to employ different tatics)..Uncleu i am still in India..i have not decided wheather i will go for higher studies to US or not..
( i was hoping he would now say sorry atleast but it turned out to be the second mistake i made)
NP: U all tellu like that..and gou..all sameu little smartu America gou..
ME:(Take my mobile out of my pocket and press the first number on the contact list and tell uncleu)..someone is calling me unclu..execuse me..
NP: I heard no ringu..
ME: silent modeu..( then i start speaking)..hello dude how are u?
Guy on the other end of line: Dude you are calling me after 3 years
ME: First number i could dial da..have some mercy..
.......