Wednesday, October 7, 2009

BPL BPL!

Buoyed by the recent success of IPL/KPL, the cricket fraternity of bangaloooruuu has decided to introduce a similar league. No points for guessing the name, it is BPL - Bendakaluooru Premier League. The CEO of the league was heard saying that Bangaloreans will have something else to look forward to, other than rain and traffic. He was saying this would revolutionize the game of cricket. The winds of street cricket, he said, would change dramatically. BPL, he said, would be the perfect blend of street cricket and professional cricket.

Since there are an infinite number of colonies/hallis/layouts there has been a huge demand from different associations to have their teams in BPL. However, to make it look like its bigger cousins, this league is going to have 8 teams only. Based on various factors like popular demand, bribe and traffic, the league has been short listed with the following 8 teams:
1. KORMANAGALA SHOPPERS - owned by shop-o-holics .
2. WHITEFIELD ITs- owned by cab drivers
3. BASVANAGUDI OLDIES - owned by PPF1
4. BELLANDUR LAKERS - owned by the ones who are encroaching the lake
5. BOMMANAHALLI BOMBS - owned by owners of firecracker companies from HOSUR
6. ISRO LAYOUT SCIENTISTS - owned by ex-members of ICC2
7. RAJAJINAGAR STONERS - owned by members of KRV
8. BTM JAMMERS - owned by wonderful citizens who are stuck in the BTM traffic jam

BPL will be the title sponsor for this league. So league will be called "BPL BPL" .

The Unique features of “BPL BPL” are as follows:
Shared playground - a minimum of four matches will be held at a time.
Stationary wickets- Trees/ electric poles will be used as wickets at one end.(stones at the other).
No changeover - there will be no changeover after every over
Bouncy balls - cricket will be played with Wilson ball/tennis ball
Live auction - Players are auctioned in the playground before a match
Hard outfield - we will ensure there is no grass anywhere in the ground.
Joker - a designated player can play for both the teams(in case there are odd number of players).
Current - the bowler only needs to have contact with the wicket on his side(stone) to effect a run and does not have to remove the bails (as there are none in the first place!)
Live rules - rules can be modified according to the situation and only mutual agreement between the teams in necessary
Varied Clothing - believing in diversity every team member can wear clothes of his choice.
Also, due to the overwhelming response received from sponsors following awards are to be given:
Best fielder - decided by the dirtiest clothes sponsored by Manjunath laundry.
Super sixer - decided by the broken window glass - sponsored by pakkada mane aunty.
BPL man of the match - to be given to the person watching the match.

Additionally, Water is supplied by borewell, beverages by ‘kakan anagadi’.

Meanwhile, it is also heard that school children are planning to hold a massive rally to protest the incursion of ‘corporates’ into their game. They were heard saying that this would destroy the very fabric of street cricket. The CEO of BPL BPL was, however, unavailable for comment.


1: PPF – Public Provident Fund
2: ICC – ISROLayout Cricket Club

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

How to get curses from more than fifty thousand people?

Wake up a person in deep slumber, you are bound to get curses from him.
No of people: 1

If you are playing street cricket make sure you hit the glass window of a house.
No of people: at least 1, possibly more

Overtake a vehicle and break hard.
No of people: at least 1, possibly more

If you are in a apartment and in any floor above ground, start dancing when the folks in the floor below are sleeping.
No of people: Depends on whether it is a nuclear family ..

Throw garbage from your apartment onto unsuspecting pedestrians.
No of people: Depending on the number of people on the street

Make your office cab(with lot of people inside) wait for you.
No of people: Many

Play a himesh reshammiya song in a office party
No of people: Depending on no of people in your office party!

Make sure your car breaks down in a key intersection during peak traffic hours, causing massive traffic jam.
No of people: hundreds to thousands

Cut the power in an entire area during the last over of a exicting cricket match
No of people: Many thousands

Finally, the best way to get loads of curses is to upload a fake video under the name of a recent
blockbuster movie on youtube.
Ex:check the comments sections of this youtube video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKvW-6iJ9eA&feature=fvw