Praveen’s FAQ

In order to save time for everybody (and myself? –Doesn’t everybody include me?).

1)You have become thinner than the last time.

Although this is more of a statement than a question, I would like to add that ‘you’ had told the same the last time we had met. Assuming ‘you’ always speak the truth I should be becoming thinner every time we meet. If you still have not found the fallacy yet mister. I cannot help you but can only tell you the same thing I always tell when I happen to meet you “No, I weigh exactly the same”.


2)Why are you so thin?

If this is what u meant in question # 1 here is your answer. Please come to my ‘home’ and have a look at all the specimens around .If you find someone looking fatter than me we can discuss next time when we meet.

3)Why do you eat so less?

Refer next question.

4)How come you eat so much?

I have an invisible stomach whatever I eat goes there.This also explains why I am thin. For people with question # 3 give me a free lunch and then ask question # 4.

5)Where do you live?
Question depends on time and day of the week.

6)I meant where is your home?

Question depends on time and day of the week.

7)Damn..err..i did not get you..
On weekdays and during non-office hours there is a good probability that I can be found in a tiny house in Bellandur. Similarly on weekends there is a good probability you can find me in my house in ISRO Layout ( Technically my parent’s house).

8)Why so serious…?

I hope you are not the Joker. But if I am working in office I am looking forward to finish the work and make a run for the exit.The facial expression also depends on how much I abhor my work. Being a software engineer such work follows.

9)You hardly speak

Refer answer for Q 11.

10)You speak.

Refer answer for Q11.

11)You speak too much.

It depends on how well you know me and at times how many times I am interrupted and many a times the intellectual capabilities of my listener.

12)Why are you so fair?

I am actually very unfair if you happen to know me. But if the question had anything to do with my skin color I will let you in on a little secret. When I was born my mother painted my face with Asian Paints white emulsion. If you happened to see the ads of the same you would know that “it lasts really long” and it is weather proof also.
If you have any more questions on the same my mom could help you ,she would not mind divulging any such trade secrets.

13)Your hair is jet black.

Black paint..so easy.

14)Why do u keep smiling?
I hope you meet the person who asked question #:8 that would really save me time. But, since it is a FAQ let me tell you that I am a lazy bum. Whenever I see somebody instead of waving hand, saying ‘hello’, ‘good morning’ , I smile. It is a lazy man’s way of saying whatever is meant to be said at that particular moment. You could make a mental note that I am dumb if it helps you.


15)Your social skills looks challenged at times.
I am lazy.Which part did u not get ?. Saying Too many good mornings makes my day a bad morning..OK.

16)How was the pooja yesterday ( next day after a festival). ?

I am an Atheist. ….If you did not get it.. dictionary helps.
PS: Having an Atheist dad helps in having no pooja’s.

17)How many times did you give CAT?
I have forgotten to count ,but to be on the safer side can I say ‘several’ times..huh ok.?

18)Why does something happen to you around Exam time?

Maybe something happens to me all the time and exam comes in between. How does this sound ?

19)Why do you want to do a MBA?

This answer is saved for the interview. Sorry I can tell you next year maybe. (hopefully)

20)You are not to be seen on weekends?

Hope the last few questions helped you. If you want to see me then meet me in any of the mock CAT centers on Sundays. The probability of meeting me is very high.


21)How do u know so many ‘things’ about so many diverse topics?

I could be just knowing one topic more than you or I could be bluffing many topics I have no clue or I might actually be knowing something.( Knowing something probably means wikipedia or internet knowledge..hope u don’t plan to give me a exam .)

22)Why do you avoid weddings?

I hate everything except of course the food in weddings. So next time you invite me ensure that I first get to eat nice food after that I might just wish you and if am really feeling like a good Samaritan I might just give a gift (If I happen to remember). However the number one reasons for missing weddings would be that I am preoccupied with something else like the stupid ritual I follow on Sundays.


23)You never keep in touch with old friends.

Keeping touch was always mutual I thought.I think there are 2 guilty parties I am one but there must be someone else..if I am counting correctly.?


24)You don’t meet offline often.

Meeting folks happens to be elaborate exercise in negotiation skills – on time, date and venue. Since it has been proved that I am a habitually lazy guy ,show me some mercy. Meeting online happens to revolve around a few mouse clicks and keyboard which is easier?. Also, I am never overjoyed in any exercise which involves me driving my bike around half the city amidst the unending traffic mess ( Synonym: Bangalore as per oxford dictionary 2020 -). So here is the deal , do the planning make it a place not too far.( good food /free lunches can go a long way in improving my motivation levels), we shall meet I have no issues. I know it cannot be all about ‘ME’ but what to do. there is no laziness anonymous…so there is no other way.


25)You don’t drink any booze?

I don’t want to. Drink any alcohol..got it?..Dont ask me the same question when you are getting drunk again….


26)Do you eat any non veg?
Somebody decide to classify plants and animals and eating one as veg as non-veg. What should I do about i?.You would know both are living things if u had studied in school. U might ask me the question of ethics.Well what ethics is there in making paddy a crop and planting everywhere and then eating it. Well unless one can come up with completely synthetic food..everyone is ethically wrong to eat anything except salt. Also don’t give the explanation about how brutal and unhuman is it to slaughter animals. Yes of course the cries of an animal sound more cruel than the silent paddy which was also slaughtered. I do however agree that we should not eat any endangered living things( plant or animal). I also have no plans to eat any humans dead or alive. If you have still not got my answer, it is “I do “.
Ps:don’t even try the religion angle on this one on me.


27)You don’t dance.

Does jumping and howling count?..If not u have a challenge standing in front of you..Show some mercy ..teach!!.


If you have reached this point then it looks like you have a unanswered question. If so, shoot the question enough times I just might add it to my updated FAQ version ( whenever I actually decide to update).