New syllabus for NCERT 1st std maths

NCERT syllabus revision committee has decided to update the defunct syllabus for 1st standard Math's . Here are the excerpts from the press conference in which the chairman of the committee, Prof. Gupta, briefed the press about the dramatic changes being introduced.

 

Prof: Good afternoon, we have decided to bring whole scale changes to NCERT Math's 1st std text book. We believe that the fresh and young minds of our great country need to be taught for the real world. We believe the current textbook, titled ' Maths-magic' is a misnomer as it is not teaching any magic tricks. Hence, committee has unanimously decided to include famous math's magic tricks of this decade like the one where one can vanish Rupees 74 billion into thin air.

 

(Thunderous applause is heard from the audience)

Prof: (Continuing..)  Thank you, thank you. To do fraud, your basics should be strong. We believe in inculcating the same to the fresh minds of 1st standard. Current chapters on addition, subtraction will be modified. We are introducing several new techniques which will ensure our students will get both right answer and fraud answer for addition/subtraction. Also, it has been decided to call addition as 'credit' and subtraction as 'debit'. Our students will only be taught numbers in terms of billions ... 1 billion, 2 billion etc... Several practical exercises will also be conducted where each student will be asked to count the number of people in class and give both the correct count and the 'fraud' count. This is the beginning we hope to perfect the art of teaching fraud to the bright young minds of our country. Any questions?

(Suddenly, half a dozen hands went up..) 

Reporter 1: Sir, what about ethical issues?

 Prof: You have not understood the whole purpose of this new framework. The idea is to ensure our next generation does not understand such words. We need 1000 R.Raju's to build this nation.

Reporter 2: Sir, how will wrong addition/subtraction help in committing a fraud. Isn't it much more complex.

Prof: (Smiling).. It is also 1st std son. We will build on this in higher classes. We will teach how to create  benami accounts, forge documents and  cheques in higher classes. This we are hoping will be a stepping stone to new wave of fraud in our country,

Reporter 1:  Sir,  it is great to finally see our curriculum managing to keep up with the times. Considering the fact that all of you math's professors are not trained in this new field of 'fraud' ,how do u expect to be able to frame the syllabus.

Prof:  We have R.Raju in our committee

(That silenced everyone and was the end of press conference and dawn of a new age of fraud......).