Top 10 unwanted advices from people that I either didn't know or barely knew! - Part II

(Continuing from the last post….)

If you have not read part-I check here

 

6) After receiving the life insurance policy from the agent he advising me," Now, Mr.Praveen you can get married!" .( Hmm.s..sir, if u marry without an insurance policy there is no motivation for your wife to murder you...in short he is asking me to get married and killed!). 

7) On seeing my hair at the fag  end-of-2 month hair cut cycle, when it is a little long I got this advice from a distant relative ( deciphering the distance is a NP hard problem) "If your hair is long all the food you eat gets sucked up there and that is why you are thin. Keep your hair short to become fatter."

( Yes...why do we need to study biology in school when we get such gems from such folks. How logical it is…The food you eat get sucked up by the hair and then out!..Get rid of the rest of the organs for the excretion system I say!..also..if you see any long haired human being tell them this..plz spread such wisdom) 

8)  In order to pickup my extremely valuable VTU marks card (with useless marks ofcourse!) I had to go to our PESIT office. Therein lay an amazing character, a true bureaucrat, a boisterous almost senile old lady. She was unfortunately in charge of the “mark cards”. In order to pickup the marks card one had to sign in a really big fat register. However, in order to sign, one unfortunately needs a pen which at this opportune moment happened to be missing. In order to escape another ordeal to PESIT office I asked for the pen from madamji.( cardinal sin it was). Advice naturally followed which was as below:

" Ninnage tale sariyagilla. Yaake odake barthya .Manelli kuthko...Pen ellade en madthya collge alli..swapla nu sense illa.idiot.!." 

English translation: "Your head is not right. Why do u come to study(here) ?.Sit in the house. Without pen, what are you doing in the college? You have no sense, idiot. "  

(Absolute idiot to be even asking her..could not agree more!) 

 9) In an office party a drunk met-only-two-times before colleague comes to me. On finding I have not drunk any forms of alcohol nor I intend to do he was surprised and gave the following advice, “ Grow up, high time you started drinking. If you don’t start now, when will you?....if you are avoiding drinking because of health issues...look at me!. Drinking in fact makes you stronger..”

(yes sirji, drinking certainly makes u strongly funny;gives me a good laugh and hence, keeps me healthy. So ji ..plz drink more.. let me just watch!)

 10)    While trying to  get medical certificate for bunking college for preparing for CAT I had this gem of advice from the doctor. “You want to do a MBA..ha ha..To do an MBA you need to be fit.You need to become stronger young man..”

( yes doc, in MBA they teach management principles by asking us to lift weights of  40 kgs. Theory x says you can pick up 25 kgs but you wont and theory Y says you want to pick up 27kgs when you can do 25kgs etc..)

 Ps: As the tag line of a recent ad goes “zindagi me bahut saara advice muft  me miltha hain.” We Indians tend to advise at the drop of a hat. I think our generation as we grow older must try to refrain from treading the same path that our elders have followed.